Live más, cum harder.

Baja Cum Blast is the color of 3AM drive-thrus, bad decisions, and soda machines that should not exist.

It’s unholy. It’s citrus-adjacent-something. It’s what would happen if Taco Bell served hats till late.

Pairs well with synthetic cheese, late-night texts, and irreversible thirst.

100% cotton shell. High-quality back metal and faux leather strap. Embroidered in California with white thread. You know, like God intended.

Note: Last model pic isn’t wearing Baja Cum Blast. She’s rocking ‘Big Naturals’ in our Dark Lord font for reference. Don’t worry —the curse is colorblind. 

Choose your font:

• Law & Order SVU – Bold, all caps, and ready for court. Mariska Hartigay would nod in approval.
• Dark Lord – Gothic serif, cursed in the best way. Looks like it was ripped from an exorcism transcript.

RETURN & REFUND POLICY

These are made-to-order. Once summoned, they cannot be un-summoned. No returns or exchanges at this time—choose wisely, mortal.

TIMING

We stitch it into existence for you. Ships in 10-15 business days for creation + fulfillment because dark magic takes time. 

Questions? Email followmetothesatanicorgy@gmail.com