We make horny hats and use them to fund abortion access and add a little dose of silly resistance to the world. 

You buy a hat.

We send money to the people making it possible for others to actually get abortions—especially in states trying to ban it.

30% of proceeds go to the National Network of Abortion Funds (NNAF), a coalition of badass organizations helping people get the care they need:

• Covering Procedures
• Paying for travel across state lines
• Helping with hotels, food, and childcare
• Making sure people have safe places to stay

The other 70%? It keeps this tiny brand alive—and sometimes pays rent.

Post-Roe, Post-Trump, Post-Sanity

Even in states with full abortion bans, people still need abortions. 

They just have to travel now—sometimes hundreds of miles, across multiple states, with kids, without PTO, and under active legal threats.

Your purchase literally helps cover:

• Flights, bus rides, gas
• Hotels, food, childcare
• Appointment fees and clinic costs
• Legal support if needed

Without abortion funds, many people wouldn’t be able to get out of states that are trying to trap them.

Buying a hat helps someone say “no” to forced pregnancy.

That’s pretty badass. 

• You get a fun high-quality hat (made to order and embroidered in California)
• Someone gets the life-changing care they need
• We get to keep fighting injustice-and laughing while we do it

That’s what Follow Me to the Satanic Orgy is about

Thanks for being here.